The Ten Suggestions, part 4

3. Dispense with your God, if that God is causing you misery.

The God that most Americans are introduced to through church, media, and society, is antisocial, schizophrenic, and maybe bi-polar minus the meds. Most believers, including many who are actually happy themselves, will disagree with me vehemently.

Let me put it to you this way: Would you respect someone who claims to love everyone but would banish one of his own children to eternal misery for not returning the affection? I didn’t think so. Such a man would be petty at best and psychotic at worst. So why should I respect a God who does the same?

An otherworldly hell simply isn't compatible with the concept of love, although many believers do their level best to have this make sense somehow. A brilliant pontifical bible scholar I once knew commented that in the Bible, God never really succeeded in changing anyone when he threatened them with misfortune, but when he promised them life, they came in droves. Face it: Unless we learn otherwise, we project the wounded, unconscious masculine identity onto God. It’s all around us—it’s insidious, it’s pervasive, and it plays to the darkest impulses of our human nature. It’s that notion that we somehow more “right” than another group of people because we understand God and they don’t. How many lives lost and souls destroyed over this premise?

A wise rabbi, when confronted by atheists who told him, “Rabbi, I don't believe in God,” would always reply, “Which one?” If you wish to get to know the Divine on the Divine's terms, it would be a good idea to start with this: God is love. Explore love in all its forms, meanings, and nuances. Learn by doing. Make love your life’s study, and you will learn more about God than most people in the history of humanity.

A grown-up God for grown-up people
Do you ever find yourself praying for stuff for yourself or for changes in your circumstances? Perhaps most of us do sometimes. But God is not Santa Claus, rewarding you with favor for bribing him with good behavior, faith, or even “The Secret.” I heard another rabbi say that God put us in a physical universe and we are subject to its laws. So when hard times come, it is not for us to say, “Why?” but rather, “What now shall we do?” If you want God to answer your prayers powerfully, ask God to break your heart with compassion, or ask God to show you ways to serve those who need you. Both of those, incidentally, will lead to happiness, if not deep contentment. Yes, I think God has a sense of the ironic.

This “radical love God” takes more courage to follow and believe in than the other ones. Cynics, take note.

Certainly many people are happy if not content despite their religious beliefs, which are otherwise inconsistent with the way they instinctively know to love. (And I'm not speaking of those soul-dead parents who would disown their children because they're gay or for having an inter-racial relationship.) This is demonstrative of the fact that there are many ways to be happy, inconsistencies are allowed, and that this list does not equal the 10 Commandments, but rather 10 Suggestions.)

As always, pick the ones that work for you. Your mileage may vary. Six more to come.