The Ten Suggestions, part 3

3. Explore your spirituality

For now, forget every definition of spirituality you've ever heard before, and try this one: Spirituality is the way that the Divine, or whatever eternal, formless or formful essence you may or may not believe in, woos your soul. What woos your soul? Truth? Beauty? Virtue? Love? Family? Adventure? NASCAR? If it penetrates your being and gets to the middle of you, consider that it's the Divine getting your attention in the way that only it can. Not sure what gets to your soul? Start with your imagination. What fascinates or interests you? Start there. If nothing interests you, I don't believe you. But if so, it might be a good idea to see a therapist, but run the other way if the first thing he or she does is suggest drugs.

This insight about the nature of spirituality came to me at Burning Man some years ago when I struck up a conversation with a woman. We were both gazing at works by artist Alex Grey, and I was sharing with her some of my spiritual adventures originating from my travels on the shamanic path. She sadly said to me, "I wish I had a spirituality like you, but I don't." I asked her what made her happy, and she told me with profound appreciation about the joy she gets from her family and friends. They meant everything to her. It came to me to say to her that her family and friends are her spirituality. Through them, she experiences God. She started crying with joy, and suddenly I knew that what I had said was even more true than I knew it to be.

So that's why I ask you: What woos your soul? Give your life to it. Marry it. If that seems like a bit much, at least take it out for coffee once or twice a week, for the love of all that is good and decent.

Don't just have a spirituality. Explore it. Revel in it, linger with it as you would your lover's body. Smell it, taste it, savor it. Wrestle with it. Go deep with it, go shallow with it. Laugh with it and laugh at it. The allow it to laugh at you. If you cannot find humor in it, then either it's not your spirituality or you're not looking at it openly and honestly.

I know that many people today don't even know what interests them beyond whatever pop culture feeds them and bores them with nightly. If this sounds like you, check in with yourself. Are you happy with that? Does it literally bring you joy and give you energy to reach for that remote? If so, awesome. If not, then you have some exploring to do. As I said before, start with your imagination. Travel magazines and National Geographic are good places to start.